Monday, May 19, 2014

The Penis

Ok, most of my tens of readers know I am a lesbian.  I have been one for a very long time.  I cannot tell you the last time I have seen a penis on anyone older than three.

So I am not sure what I signed up for that has brought penis mail into my mailbox over the last couple of weeks.

I have gotten:

Wake up the Porn Star in You!!!  10 inches in 5 minutes.  Use the most powerfull cock stiffener guaranteed to produce unbridled sexuality - the all orgasms - all the time capsule.

And then there is the Power Penis Amplifier.

And - Your schlong can more than match the enormous penis you've dreamed about.  Pleasure 10 girls in a row every night until their orgasms send them to 7th heaven.

Then there is:  Size Does Matter!!!  (If a woman tells you it doesn't - she's a liar)

Then I got:  Erections on demand!

And my personal favorite, because I can just hear Arnold Schwartzenager saying it:

"Erectinol - Will Pump up Your Penis with enough blood to satisfy any woman for hours" 

Just say it his voice in your head, I guarantee it is funny.

I am just not sure where all this is coming from.  Has someone put my name and address on the penis list, it must exist.  Did I piss someone off?  Do I have a penis and just don't know it.  I'd think I would know it, but maybe...

In any event they all come with pictures, yes pictures of the biggest penis (what is the plural - neither my beloved or myself are sure) and I was just going to throw them in the recycle, but was advised by my beloved that perhaps I should shred them.  After the 5th one I opened I complained that I was going to burn out our shredder.

I thruthfully don't have anything against the penis, I just don't really need to know how to make them bigger and satisfy your woman like never before. 

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