So I am not sure what I signed up for that has brought penis mail into my mailbox over the last couple of weeks.
I have gotten:
Wake up the Porn Star in You!!! 10 inches in 5 minutes. Use the most powerfull cock stiffener guaranteed to produce unbridled sexuality - the all orgasms - all the time capsule.
And then there is the Power Penis Amplifier.
And - Your schlong can more than match the enormous penis you've dreamed about. Pleasure 10 girls in a row every night until their orgasms send them to 7th heaven.
Then there is: Size Does Matter!!! (If a woman tells you it doesn't - she's a liar)
Then I got: Erections on demand!
And my personal favorite, because I can just hear Arnold Schwartzenager saying it:
"Erectinol - Will Pump up Your Penis with enough blood to satisfy any woman for hours"
Just say it his voice in your head, I guarantee it is funny.
I am just not sure where all this is coming from. Has someone put my name and address on the penis list, it must exist. Did I piss someone off? Do I have a penis and just don't know it. I'd think I would know it, but maybe...
In any event they all come with pictures, yes pictures of the biggest penis (what is the plural - neither my beloved or myself are sure) and I was just going to throw them in the recycle, but was advised by my beloved that perhaps I should shred them. After the 5th one I opened I complained that I was going to burn out our shredder.
I thruthfully don't have anything against the penis, I just don't really need to know how to make them bigger and satisfy your woman like never before.