Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Blog more

What???  Eleven entries in my blog for the entire year?

What is wrong with me?

I must blog more.

I must blog more.

I most blog more.

A good time was had by me!


Well, I just had the most fun I have had all day.


I got a call from a person on my cell phone asking for Carol somebody.  I quickly explained that there was nobody here by that name.  Well, the caller told me I need to speak to the person that belongs to this phone number because their computer is sending us a message that it is infected.


Me:  What??  My computer is infected???


Her:  Yes.  And it is sending us messages and we need you to turn on your computer and open a browser?


Me:  What computer?


Her:  Your computer.  The one that is attached to this number.  Your license information that you got when you purchased your computer is attached to your phone number.  Only you and the computer have this number and it is send us messages.


Me:  Well, if only my computer and I have this information, how do you know what computer is sending you a message?  My computer is infected?  What virus?  What company do you work for?


Her:  I work for Windows Helpdesk support.  No, your computer is not infected, your internet connection is infected, please turn on your computer.


Me:  OK, I have 100 computers, why don’t you tell me which one you are talking about? 


Her:  You mean you have 100 computers using the same internet connection? Then they are all infected.


Me:  But you just said my computer is not infected, my internet connection is infected.  So if I call my internet provider they should be able to help me with the problem right?


Her: If you are not going to listen to me I will hang up..


Me: hello, hello??


There were other things said and the woman on the other end got quite upset and flustered with me and I really enjoyed it.


My point is that if you receive a call like this, DO NOT TURN ON YOUR COMPUTER AND GO TO THE WEBSITE AS DIRECTED.


Oh and fuck with them, it is fun.



Thursday, October 2, 2014

Moonbows, never give up hope of seeing them.

In June of 1993 five girls got in a couple of cars and drove to Yosemite National Park in search of moonbows.

Now these girls were told about moonbows by some friends.  Moonbows will appear on the night of a full moon in the light of the full moon in the mist of a waterfall.

So off we went.  It was a weekend of crazy weather.  Rain, wind and hail.  Yes, I did say it was June.

We bought our tickets for the full moon night tour and waited for the time to come.

We drove down to the departure point, in the driving rain, you would think we might have figured out the tour might be cancelled.

The tour was cancelled and did not get to see our moonbows.

Fast forward ten years and add another girl and another full moon in Yosemite.

So we all drive back up to Yosemite to see the moonbows.  Excitement was in the air.  The weather cooperated and the tour was on!

We drove down into the valley, got on the little tram and started talking about how excited we were.

The tour guide turns to us and says:

Are you talking about moonbows?

We all smile and yes, we have been waiting 10 years to see them.

The guide then proceeds to tell us:  OH, that is just an urban myth.

Now we had six very sad girls who never saw moonbows.

Those six are now once again five.  

We will miss you Miss Paulette Wade and we will never stop hoping to see a moonbow, no matter what that stupid tour guide said.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Somethings do not belong on Free Cycle.

I belong to a free-cycle group.  It is an on-line group where you post stuff you want to give away or you hope someone has that they will give you for free.

When it works, it is really great.  You have something you no longer want, you post it on line, people respond.  You tell the first person to respond where to pick your crap up and you put it out in the driveway and it is gone in a little while.

Sometimes there is is something so weird, you wonder what???

Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:37 am (PDT) . Posted by:

I have 6 boxes of Tampax from when my daughter still lived at home in the 90's. There's no expiration date on them, but if someone is interested in having them, they are available. The individual packages have not been opened.

Yes, really someone posted this.  OK, so they have no expiration date, but really from the 90's?

Have you ever picked up a piece of fabric that has been stored someplace for a long time.  It just disinigrates in your hands.

I can only imagine what would happen with these if you were crazy enough to use them.

Seriously, some things are just meant to be thrown away.

Friday, August 8, 2014


It has been five years since Martha left this world.  Martha was the younger sister of my oldest friend.  By default she was also my friend.  She was always there.  I remember her being there.  I remember the time my younger brother hit her in the head with a shoe.  I remember she, Jolie and I just being.

Martha was a beautiful soul.  She was one of those people that always had a smile on her face, even in her darkest hours.  Her life was not always easy, but she was surrounded by such love.  She raised two smart, caring, beautiful daughters.  She dropped her life a few years before her own battle to care for her sister, Jolie.  Even during her own illness there was a calm that floated around her.  

She loved, she was loved, she is remembered.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014


Listen I have been to Weeki Wachee.  I have seen Mermaids.  Really, I have been there and I have seen them.

However, who knew mermaids need a Mystical Mermaid Retreat?

Is the life of a mermaid really that stressful?

I guess we can ask Hannah Fraser - mermaid and ocean activist - because she will be speaking at the retreat.

The flyer says "space is extremely limited".  Well, I guess you can only fit so many mermaids in one spot.  I would think travel would be very diffcult.

I really can't think about htis too much or Ill go the website and sign up.


Let me know if you go.

OK, I take it back.  I went to the site.  Mermaids welcome, Mer-men only if you are there with your maid and are willing to wait on her.  This is the most politically correct website I have seen in a while.  It was worth the trip.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Gish, Sue and May go to camp.

Yes, it is Sunday and time for Life in the Obits.

So today is a question about what it means to be an American Citizen.

I don't know about you, but I was taught in school about internment camps.  You know they existed in Europe during WWII.  Imagine my surprise when as an adult I discovered those Germans were not the only ones that ripped people from their homes and their lives and sent them to camps.  Surrounded by wire and men with guns.

Yes, our great country did the same thing to American citizens that happened to be of Japanese descent.

This morning's obits contained the stories of three Japanese Americans that were uprooted from their lives and sent to camps, all because they were of Japanese heritage.  I do understand that the war was on and people were scared.  But why these people?  How come the government did not put a fence around the entire place called GermanTown, Pennsylvania.  Following the logic of you are Japanese, you must be a threat.  Wouldn't the same logic apply to an entire population that choose to live in a place called GermanTown?  I will never understand what happened during that time, but I will talk about three people today that lived thru it.

First there is Gish, born in San Francisco, he worked at the famous San Francisco Flower Mart until he was sent to the Heart Mountain camp in Wyoming.  He was part of a group that then became a translator for the British during the war.  

After what, I can only imagine was a horrible period in his life, he returned to beauty of the flower mart where he stayed for over 50 years.

Then we have Sue.  Born in Alameda in 1919 and a guest of the government at the Poston Concentration Camp in Yuma, Arizona and she also spent time in the Topaz Concentration Camp in Millard County, Utah.

Sue finally returned to the Bay Area to raise a family and become a counselor.  She was an advocate for Japanese American reparations, which I am sure put her on somebodies list somewhere to be watched until this obit was published.

In 1941 May was interned at Camp III, Poston Arizona with her family.  May came back to Berkeley and later on to Daly City where she worked side by side with her husband in a framing business.  After her retirement she took up creative writing and joined a local poetry group.  I would love to read some of her work about her time in the camps.

I am ashamed of lots of things in the history of my country.  Do not get me wrong, I love this country and would not want to live anywhere else, except maybe in France but that is a different story.  Back on track, I am ashamed my country would actually round up it citizens and place them in camps, for no other reason than the fact that they had Japanese blood.

Just brings to mind the poem about - to paraphase.

First they came for (insert whatever you want)
And I did not speak, because I was not (insert)
Then they came for me.

Rest in peace.

Monday, May 19, 2014

The Penis

Ok, most of my tens of readers know I am a lesbian.  I have been one for a very long time.  I cannot tell you the last time I have seen a penis on anyone older than three.

So I am not sure what I signed up for that has brought penis mail into my mailbox over the last couple of weeks.

I have gotten:

Wake up the Porn Star in You!!!  10 inches in 5 minutes.  Use the most powerfull cock stiffener guaranteed to produce unbridled sexuality - the all orgasms - all the time capsule.

And then there is the Power Penis Amplifier.

And - Your schlong can more than match the enormous penis you've dreamed about.  Pleasure 10 girls in a row every night until their orgasms send them to 7th heaven.

Then there is:  Size Does Matter!!!  (If a woman tells you it doesn't - she's a liar)

Then I got:  Erections on demand!

And my personal favorite, because I can just hear Arnold Schwartzenager saying it:

"Erectinol - Will Pump up Your Penis with enough blood to satisfy any woman for hours" 

Just say it his voice in your head, I guarantee it is funny.

I am just not sure where all this is coming from.  Has someone put my name and address on the penis list, it must exist.  Did I piss someone off?  Do I have a penis and just don't know it.  I'd think I would know it, but maybe...

In any event they all come with pictures, yes pictures of the biggest penis (what is the plural - neither my beloved or myself are sure) and I was just going to throw them in the recycle, but was advised by my beloved that perhaps I should shred them.  After the 5th one I opened I complained that I was going to burn out our shredder.

I thruthfully don't have anything against the penis, I just don't really need to know how to make them bigger and satisfy your woman like never before. 

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Knowing someone in the obits - kinda sad.

Today I was looking for a theme in the obits.  I found a couple that I thought I would blog about.

There were two men who had been with the SFFD for lots of years prior to retirings.

Then there was the immigrant theme.  Lots of the those this morning, chasing the American dream and according  to their stories they found it.

Then I came across one that I don't normally see - some one I knew.  I read the name and then looked at the picture and had a flashback to the days at McCutchen, Doyle and Brown.  For those of you not in the know, BIG law firm that I worked for in the past.  Lots of attorneys.  Lots of assholes - maybe someday I'll tell the story of why I left.

But not this man, he was one of the good guyes and I am going to break my nom-de-blog rule here and use his real name:

David R. Andrews I knew him in the mid 80's and to tell the truth, I thought about him just his past week.  I remember being in his office one day and he was telling me to never eat tuna.  I think I was contemplating ordering tuna and the conversation flashed in my head.  I ordered a salad instead.  He was an environmental lawyer and based on his obit in this week's paper, so much more.

People come and go in and out of our lives.  It happens all the time.  We meet.  Maybe at work and we become a part of each other's lives for a time.  Then we go away for whatever reason, maybe never to see or hear from each other ever again.  Then you read about them in the obits and you are a little sad.

Mr. Andrews was one of those people that when he spoke, you listened.  Not because you had to, but because he made you want to.  He was always kind to me when our paths crossed - usually a computer problem at some really bad time - I never remember his losing his temper or raising his voice.  But I will always remember his passion about tuna and what had been done to our oceans.

You will be amazed.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Flying in Comfort?

We all know that travel is not easy, it has gotten worse and worse over the last few years.

Without sounding full of myself, I am a good traveller.  I travel light, I wear my socks more than once and I have one carry on bag.

That bag is a blue fabric with gold fleur-de-lis on it.  And yes, I did get it France many years ago.  It goes on every trip with me.  It has my shawl, because it always cold on an airplane and I don't like to use the blankets that might be provided.  A little pouch with stuff to freshen up with.  Another little pouch that holds my cables for my electronics.  My kindle.  My Ipad.  Sometimes a travel pilllow.  And then I have enough room for my pocket book.

One bag.  It fits perfectly under my seat and I put my feet on it.  Since I am pretty short, this makes my trip a bit more comfortable.

So, here I am the traveller that follows the rules.  Small carry on that I can put under my seat.  I leave the overhead to all those people that bring their "carry-ons" that take up most of the overhead compartment.

So last night, my beloved and I get on a plane at SFO, bound for North Carolina.  I am in the middle seat, because in addition to being a good traveller that followes the rules, I am a considerate travel mate and take the middle seat.

Imagine my surprise when my carry on does not fit under the seat!  What is up with that?  I contort my body and look under the seat.  There is a metal box attached to the seat in front of me that will not allow me to put my bag under my seat!

So after grabbing my kindle I have to find overhead space.  Plane is full.  Roller bags fill every space and I am not happy.  I find a spot and a man helps me move things around and my bag fits up there.  I sit back down and settle in.  Realizing, great now I have nothing.  No glasses, no shawl, no fucking nothing.  My beloved gets up and gets my pillow.

Fuck, where am I going to put my feet?  This lead to most unconfortable flight I have ever been on.  After bitching about it here, I am off to the Delta web site to complain.  Not that I think it will do any good, but because it might make feel better.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

The Obit's

I have not been reading the obituaries for a while.  I am not really sure why, I just would pass by that section of the paper on Sunday mornings, not wanting to read about other peoples lives after they were dead.

However, today for some reason I did not pass that section by and I am glad I did not.  I was reminded today of why I enjoy reading them.  That tiny look into someone's life printed for everyone to read after they are gone.  It did make me wonder who writes them.  I would hope the deceased had some input, other than it being about them.

So today's gems are about love:

There is Barbara B.  She died on April Fools Day and her obit start's with "Isn't this FUN?"  In college she sang with a group of her sorority sisters and at one function at the sorority house a guy selling Prell shampoo door to door, saw her and fell in love and for 59 years their gaze "never strayed from one another".  Some of Barbara's last words were "Well, I guess the party's over".  Maybe not, if that Prell salesman is waiting someplace for you.  Good luck with that.

Next we have Walter R.  In 1936 Walter was forced to leave his homeland of Germany after his views did not line up with the government.  He ended up in San Francisco and met and fell in love with Shirley.  They met, married, raised some kids, retired, travelled and Walter was left alone after her death in 2002.  Later that year (at least I hope it was later) he reconnected with his high school sweetheart, Margaret.  70 years later they found each other again and spent the next 2 years in love.  Sadly, Margaret died in 2004.  But Walter being the man of love he seemed to be found Hilda, who was with him to the end.

And last, but not least, is a woman known as Mouse to those who knew and loved her.  She married a man named Albert in 1949.  After having three daughters and a very busy life she earned her Masters of Library Science, how she found the time for I can't figure out.  She took that degree and at a time when most of us are thinking about when is this work thing going to end, she embarked on a 30 year career as a children's librarian in Oakland.  Late in life she met Norman and they travelled the West Coast in their VW van with their dog.  She loved books, children, birds, plants, gardens and Albert and Norman and her family.

To honer Mariece Matthew Batey memory she asks that you read a book to a child, plant some flowers or stop to listen to a bird sing.

This sounds like great advice to me and I hope to you.  

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Email traffic

Watching the news this morning and one of the big stories is the New Jersey city mayor that had their traffic tied up as retribution for not supporting Chris Christy for governor.

It really sounds to me like little kids that did not get their way, so they took their ball and went home.

What gets me is how stupid these people are.  When are people going to realize that email will catch you every time.  

I have a couple of tips for those of you out there that might want to do something that might be a little unethical or illegal and cause problems if you get caught:

1.  Don't do it
2.  Don't use email to make your evil plans.  You might send that email and delete it right away, but you know what?  It does not go away.

So all my peeps, don't make evil plans to take over the world using email.

If you are involved in such a plan or just one to disrupt traffice, walk over to the others involved and talk about it in very low voices, maybe even in code.  But for Christ's sake, do not use email.