Saturday, July 16, 2011

I went skydiving!!!

Today was a good day.

I have wanted to skydive for a very long time. After I broke both my ankles I was under
the impression that perhaps I might have to give up that dream, since you have to land at some point and would my ankles hold up to that kind of pressure? Well, the time has come to put that theory to the test.

My beloved's godson (Skyboy) has been skydiving for a while and has asked us to join
him a couple of times. Last weekend when we saw him, I agreed to go and we set today
as the day.

My beloved, Chief Matron Mare-son and I set out this morning for Lodi, lovely Lodi to fulfill
my little dream. We met Skyboy and Mom-of-Skyboy and boyfriend of Mom-of-Skyboy at the
parachute school.

You go in and sign a two sided form where you have to initial in about twenty places
under 20 paragraphs that basically say the same thing - I will not sue, my beloved will
not sue, I will not sue, my family will not sue, I will not sue, I will not sue, I
will not sue. You get the point.

Then you watch a video about what to expect and then you wait and wait.

My number was 98 and when your number is finally called you go into the gear up room where
you meet your tandom partner - the person who is now your new best friend - the person that
is going to keep you alive. The person that you are going to listen to every word they

So Mom-of-Skyboy and I are standing there waiting to meet our lifeline and we hear one
guy ask his victim, um student, what he does for a living and we decide to say crazy stuff.
Mom-of-Skyboy is going to say I swim with sharks and I am going to be a circus clown. Ok we meet our lifeline. My new best friend is named Brad and he is a really tall Aussie with a mohawk.

First you step into a harness that your new best friend pulls up your legs and you put
you arms thru other openings and then he tightens it around your thighs between your
legs (yes, it feels weird) then attaches it in two places across your chest and pulls
everything really tight, in fact you can't really stand up straight. And then he asks
you a really awful question - how much do you weigh - what!!! what!!! So, I told him
and he did not blink an eye when he told me I was a light one - well compared to his
last jumper anyway.

Brad tells me what to do when we leave the plane - head back, arch your back, arms
across your chest and legs thrown back behind us, like you are trying to touch your bum
with your feet. OK I can do that.

We get on the plane and sit on a rail like cushion with one leg on each side of the cushion
one in front of the other with your instructor behind you, really close behind you and up we go.

I am strangely calm and it takes a long time to get up to 13,000 feet and during this
time Brad goes over the jumping instructions as he is clipping us together in a lot of
places and then says - put your right leg on mine, put your other leg on my other leg and
sit up on my lap. Well, ok seems a little weird, but he is in control of my life right
now and I'll do what he says. So up on his lap I go and he pull us even closer together.
We are attached like a tick on a puppy and I believe he is a little concerned that I am
not nervous.

So now I get getting to the door instructions -

The people on the other side of the plane will go first. When Brad tells me I will swing
my left leg over the cushion thing and Brad will do the same. Then we will kind of walk
to the door, I will bend over a little and he will be right behind me and will will fall
out - ok I am so ready.

So we are at the door and Brad leans over me and out we go. I put my head back, I arch my
back, I cross my arms across my chest and swing my legs up towards my bum.

Nobody mentioned that in the first ten seconds you can't fucking breath and the skin
on your face is moving like it my fly right off your face or the sound. They don't
mention how loud it is, it is really loud. Have you ever heard a flag blowing in a high
wind? Well multiply that by a thousand. Loud.

And then Brad taps me on the shoulder I open my arms and we fall for a few seconds and
he pulls the cord that launches the shoot. We get pulled up a little and as the shoot opens
you become aware of the change. It was gone from very loud the really quiet. Quiet and
beautiful- Lodi is full of vineyards and you could see the long straight rows of green. Roads
are little lines far below you and I wondered how long we could stay up here.

Brad says - hey do you like roller coasters? Yes. Do you get sick on them? No.
OK, lets have some fun. He pulls on one side of the shoot and we go around in circles.

Then we have time to have an entire conversation about his skydiving history and what
do to with my feet when we land. Lift my knees to my chest, put my hands under my
knees and whatever I do, don't let me legs go behind us. OK, I can do that.

The ground comes up really fast, Brad says "knees up", I get into position and we
land quite softly, good thing cause I landed my ass. I had wanted to land on my
feet, but that was not to be.

It was a fantastic ride.

My beloved was on the ground waiting for me and gave me a big hug. The perfect end
to a perfect moment.

Once on the ground I found out the Mom-of-Skyboy, who was behind me balked at the door.
She decided she had changed her mind and did not want to do it. Well, it was too late.
Her teacher pushed and out they went. They landed not too far behind me and she says
she will do it again.

My beloved says she will do it one day.

I know I will do it again.

Now maybe tomorrow morning I'll tell my mother.


Anonymous said...

You continue to amaze me! Congrats on taking that incredible leap into the sky. Your are an awesome chick.

Anonymous said...

God love you!! I would have to be so heavily medicated that it would be a wasted trip. Maybe I'll watch you the next time you go! SMEG